A true story of a girl’s journey from prude, to cybersex-er, to exhibitionist, to best sex ever.
First things first; sex is great if you treat it right. If you love your body, like I do, then you will have an innate desire to explore yourself. I’m no babe in the woods when it comes to satisfying my bodily desires. I no longer scout for dependable sources first, and get sex as a byproduct of that. It’s about me and just me. Of course, this confidence is tagged with the word ‘experience’, which has now transformed into experiential. Though I must confess, like any other girl I still seek support from the opposite sex. Only my definition of that partner and support has undergone a change.
Strictly for yourself. Image source: australianetworknews.com
Earlier I used to be reserved. Somewhat. My mind was instinctively attached to the notion of commitment first, and sex second. Virginity was a prized possession. Thankfully I realised, sooner than later, that it’s better to enjoy the act of sex, than hold out on it. We don't come with a pre-set number of fucks. And with this experience I also learned a few things about myself - I like to dominate. But unfortunately, I haven’t come across many men who enjoy the role of submission. They may be wildly attracted to you but when it comes to role play, they are somehow focused on showing their physical prowess as `the man’. They don’t seem to understand the connection between the body and mind. How a woman feels is directly connected to whether she orgasms or not. Yet, how many men really bother about that. I have a high libido and certain needs, and honestly, most men left me disappointed.
You may not be lucky in your choice every time. Image source: onsizzle.com
So I decided to try cyber sex. It sounded like an exciting indulgence – a ready option to explore and experiment, realise my fantasies, and more importantly, teach me how to physically love myself. I didn’t have to ask my partner to join me, and touch me, and satisfy me. Not all the time at least. Sexting and cyber sex became an add-on to our sex life.
Most people think sexting and cyber sex are just a teenage fad. As grown-ups we have sex, we don't sext. What's the point of a virtual romp? Right? They couldn't be more wrong. Luckily I had a partner-in-crime – my steady boyfriend – who wasn't afraid to experiment with me. For me, it was meant to emotionally charge up my sex life, and not cheat on my partner. I was still emotionally hooked to my partner, and he to me.
Don’t feel overwhelmed. Image source:enternews.vn
When we first entered a public chat room, it took me some time to adjust to the 'porn'. There I was, with so many people blatantly highlighting their body parts. No build up, nothing to excite me really. I decided to pursue it at my pace.
It's nice to start with a basic introduction. If you're more of the wham-bam type, then state your intentions clearly at the start. If you're a couple looking for a couple, keep it simple – don't add extra frills to entice. You're a couple, everyone's already enticed!
It started with a couple complimenting my ample breasts - “You have a sexy girl,” my partner was told. There was no body shaming here. We talked for a bit before we moved on to the 'action.'
I can't begin to describe how exciting it is to watch a couple doing it 'live'. And doing what you ask them to. It's something else really. We took turns, they went first. And then we did. Amazing. Maybe a video chat is not up your alley. Don't worry, there are enough people out there who prefer texting.
Go with your sexual instinct. Image source: new-com.cn
I have also had an experience chatting with a single woman. I'm not gay, yet. But watching a woman excited me. I had a 26-year-old on the other side who wanted to look at my partner's 'stuff' and both of us fondling each other – for her. I was excited to see my partner observing her and then trying what she asked of him, on me. We were enjoying each other in bed, because of a third party.
Cyber has now become a regular feature in our sex lives. We log on for these sessions not because of these sessions so much. But with the knowledge that as soon as we log off, we would have the best sex of our lives.
Cyber Sex 101
1. You can be anonymous in chat rooms. Create an ID or use your regular email.
2. Don't get personal, don't reveal facts about yourself, and most importantly, don't get carried away.
3. Make sure the person on other side is human and not playing a video.
4. Don't show your face. It is pure, simple sex communication, which needs to be safe and sensible.
5. Never make yourself look desperate.
Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are independent views solely of the author(s) expressed in their private capacity and do not in any way represent or reflect the views of 101India.com.
By Pooja Bhatia
Cover photo credit: placerdelavida.com