Storytellers of a new generation
They say fat people never get laid.

They Say Fat People Never Get Laid. Am I The Exception?

I am not your chiseled work of art. I am not your irresistible eye-candy.

I am your inflated air bag. I am your furry blanket. I am your mood up-lifter.

Chicks are hard to come by for your average fatty. You have to compensate for your outer physical qualities in some way. Ideally you should do something extra in bed.  And your personality has to be top notch. Any hole in your defense will leave you hanging high and dry. 
I do not run on short term plans, mine is more of a war strategy. No chick will see me at a bar and go like ‘OMG, Im gonna go home with him, but first lemme take a selfie’
You cannot be fat and have the personality of a typical thin boring suit dude. Shit don’t work that way. Every square inch of your blubber should reek of confidence. Remember Shields up all the way. She should have nothing to play at, none of her hot girl bullshit will work on you, because you are free from any outcome. You do not care if you get her or not, because to be honest your chances of getting with her were slim from the start. Unlike you.

Step 1 – Be Nice, be friendly, DO NOT be sexual.

You cannot flirt; you cannot use a pick up line. It’s creepy when it comes out from your mouth. Your obscene sporadic spurts of fat and cheesy words just do not go together. Just find something to talk about, something random to say, anything funny. Talk about mundane stuff. She is not a target she is just a girl. Treat her like your everyday bro.

Step 2 – Find common ground. It is easier than you think.

Music, sports, work, books, movies, food, places, travel, art. There are so many access points for you to enter through and build a rapport. Just make her remember you enough to get in touch with her later. Always leave her smiling or in a good mood. Talk about the bizarre, it sticks with them women more. You do not even need her number, you have Facebook.

Step 3 – Get in touch.

Just get in touch. Be yourself. Be funny. Do not force it though. Remember you do not care at this point. Even if she doesn’t reply or never works out, you aren’t losing out on anything and really neither is she. So do not take yourself seriously. You are a random guy she met on a fun night out. She is an attractive random girl you happened to meet.
Either way, this is the most important step. This ship will sail wherever you direct it to. I cannot tell you how to talk to her or what to say. Everyone is different.

Step 4 – Become indispensible

Lets assume, you did everything right so far. You have a good rapport; you guys have fun, talk about meaningful stuff and the works. I have noticed that more emotions you attach yourself to for a girl, the stronger your bond gets. Always do different things (adventure parks, roadtrips, movies, drives, concerts, a good meal). Be there when she is sad, and be the happy in her happy. You are now indispensible to her. A part of her is emotionally reliant on you.

Step 5 – Choose your path

At this point she is blind to your excessive flab, she cares about the person you are. Girls are a lot less shallow than men. Now you decide whether you really like this girl or not.  And go with it. You have come a long way, you now have a decent idea about how she makes you feel and about what you want out of this. Remember you are more than this, you a F**king MAN. Choose your path and act before you end up in the friend-zone.

Step 6 a – If you think this is something you want for the longer run

Go ahead tell her how you feel. Be serious, make her feel special (because she is) See where it goes. Worse comes to worst you have a good friend in the bag.

Step 6 b – If you think this is something you would not want in the longer run

Go ahead tell her how you feel about her physically. Have a fun night. See where it goes. Worse comes to worst you have a good friend in the bag.

*If you are already in the friendzone, watch out for my next article.

Related: How To Get Out Of The 'Friendzone' And Get Laid!

 

By Karan Khosla

Photography: Avijit Pathak