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Women On Dealing With Pissing, Sweating And Bleeding

Women On Dealing With Pissing, Sweating And Bleeding

Trials of female urination devices, sweat pads and period pain patches.

“I have spent a year on the road, travelling and taking a piss behind trucks or buses in Lucknow or behind a bush on the way to Coorg or in a filthy toilet in U.P. Why do men get to stand and pee?” barked Nikita to the rest of us. She is a social worker and a friend, who often works with children across different parts of rural India.

Nikita, Shriya, Tanvi and I were sitting around the table, smoking a joint, digging into a homemade dirt cake and discussing everything from solutions to pissing in filthy public toilets, dealing with sweaty armpits, to the effectiveness of period pain patches. We consist of two feminist social workers, one environmental journalist and a business journalist. All of us were former college friends, presently bickering about female woes.

PeeBuddy, stand up and pee!PeeBuddy, stand up and pee! Image source: cloudfront.net

As a business journalist living in Bangalore, I met all kinds of entrepreneurs in my daily life. Including those that made a cardboard female urination funnel that enabled women to stand up and take a piss. I bought a pack and gifted a few to traveller cousins and friends (purely for feedback), besides using one on my own during a bouldering trip to the outskirts of Bangalore. I guess it was somewhat useful. Piss didn’t trickle out from the sides. It wasn’t messy and the way one positioned the cardboard funnel, prevented urine from splashing around one’s ankles. From the feedback, those using a filthy public toilet appeared to find it most useful. 

Inline 2 Jennifer Lawrence Elizabeth BanksJennifer Lawrence and Elizabeth Banks want to pee standing up! Image source: pinimg.com

Once I had wrapped my head around female urination devices, on the list of ‘products making women’s lives easier’, was underarm sweat pads. My first tryst with it was at my cousin’s wedding in Kerala. Very close to the bridal green room, there was another room for the ladies to get help with their saris, hair, makeup et al. And here is where I found my cousin’s friend Rima. She was distributing sweat pads with the enthusiasm of a saleswoman to all the bridesmaids, right before their blouses came on. Did it work? Well, sure, there weren’t any armpit sweat stains but some of the women did have sweaty backs (sweat got transferred?) I guess a fair amount of us didn’t care either way.

“When you are using disposable cotton armpit sweatpads, you have to make sure your underarms are dry and clean shaven. But if it’s for a special outfit like a wedding blouse? You can sew in garment shields on the inside or just stick it in with your bra,” quipped Shriya, as she wolfed down the last few scraps of cake.

I think sweatpads could be a huge life saver, especially if you have a high metabolic rate and are stuck in the sun, decked up in a raw silk sari, needing to look pretty and perfect. Which brings me to the next life savior - period pain patches. Many have screamed about their importance in an individual’s work-life balance. 

Inline 3 sweaty arm padsHow to combat those sweaty armpits! Image source: ytimg.com

“Those period pain patches got me through some all night meetings at work. I mean that, and pot,” Tanvi told Nikita during an argument with her about the effectiveness of period pain patches. Nikita was convinced they were a gimmick after a period patch failed to work for her. I agreed with Tanvi. I was gifted a set by a former roommate who needs to take injection shots from the nearest hospital to soothe her menstrual cramps. Needless to say, I bought her belief in the product, tried it out and was pleasantly surprised.

One thing you must note (for your benefit and those around you) is that some period patches have a strong smell of eucalyptus oil that fills the air. If you don’t mind being associated with the plant, give it a go and ignore the incessant questions about your new perfume or the herbal medication you are on.

Menstruation pain (notice how it begins with ‘men’)Menstruation pain (notice how it begins with ‘men’). Image source: bielcorp.com

The feminists on the table argued that the existence of female hygiene and pain relief products was a progressive but monetarily driven move by the businessmen behind them. Who would have thought about pissing in a cardboard? Standing up? If this takes off and if we really are on the cusp of a female revolution, these men will be touted as 21st century geniuses.

 

 

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are independent views solely of the author(s) expressed in their private capacity and do not in any way represent or reflect the views of 101India.com.

By Sasha Klaatu
Cover photo credit: ippodhu.com