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Bangalore Doesn’t Want Its People To Have Fun And It’s Getting Really Old

Bangalore Doesn’t Want Its People To Have Fun And It’s Getting Really Old

It’s no longer fun to be young and single in India.

Bangalore isn’t a city that never sleeps. Or is it? Let’s look at this objectively.
It’s the Silicon Valley of this great country. You can’t go anywhere without an IT guy literally bumping into you because he’s been working 12-15 hours straight and zombieing his way to bed. He’s probably pulled an all-nighter, just like thousands of others in the city.

Imagine doing that all week, waiting for the weekend with all you’ve got. And when it finally comes, all you want is some sleep. So you sleep through Saturday and wake up by the evening, get ready for a Saturday night blast with your buds. But by the time you get your groove on, the city is done for the day. Good night. Bonne nuit. Shubh ratri!

This is our night life. No, we don't get out of the vehicles to have a La La Land-style musical numberThis is our night life. No, we don't get out of the vehicles to have a La La Land-style musical number

‘The night is still young’ doesn’t make sense in Bangalore, because the night is never young. So we are forced to have house parties instead. But without loud music or loud noises or loud anything. The other day, we decided to go on a midnight trek to a mediocre mountain nearby (I’m from Idukki so every mountain in Karnataka is mediocre for me, sorry!). There were 11 of us and a dog. We reached the place at 11pm and parked near the entrance and as soon as we got the puppy ready for the trek, there they were! The Bangalore City Police (yes, the ones with that really cool Facebook page). But their coolness is limited to social media. In real life, they are like a bunch of grumpy old Sanskari aunties.

Is the night still young? Image source: 365hops.comIs the night still young? Image source: 365hops.com

Believe it or not, they asked for Rs.1000 fine for each person there, including the dog. Technically the fine is to be imposed on people who climb the mountain at that time (or so they say), but they wanted to fine us for our intention to climb. After a lot of negotiation, they let us go and tailed us for a while to make sure we are not going back, and we didn’t.

There are countless times when we go for the second show at the movies, and all the restaurants are closed by the time we come out. So we drive around the city scavenging food like we are in a post-apocalyptic movie. But each time we end up in some hospital canteen somewhere having chai with Parle-G or Maggi for dinner. Can’t complain.

Scavenging for food. Image source: youngisthan.comScavenging for food. Image source: youngisthan.com

There is this 2014 Malayalam movie called Bangalore Days. It’s about three cousins whose ultimate dream in life is to move to Bangalore together because it’s such a ‘rockin city yaar’. I could understand romanticising the city at the time. I could relate to it. I mean, awesome weather, comparatively moderate cost of living, filter coffee. There’s a lot to love, really!

It was when I lived in Bombay for a while that I understood what living in a metro should actually be like. And I’m not even a party animal. I’d rather stay at home and watch Netflix alone than go out anywhere with anyone. But once in a while, like every other human being, I too crave some fun. Fun that doesn’t involve going to bed at 11, unless it’s with a hot guy who doesn’t wear crocs and knows ‘irregardless’ is not a word. Before you scream ‘but the nightlife was extended till 1 am on weekends’, calm your glass-half-full self. Do not share that valuable info with anyone from any metro other than Bombay if you don’t want to be laughed at. Yes, I’m speaking from experience here.

The city that never sleeps? Illustration by: Eshna GoenkaThe city that never sleeps? Illustration by: Eshna Goenka

So dear authorities, and people who say ‘well no one’s forcing you to stay here’, we are not asking for another Goa. We are not even asking for another Bombay. Every city has its own vibe. But you know that some of the most hard working people in the corporate world live in this city. All we need is to be able to eat something post 11pm without having to drive to Rasta Cafe or Krishnagiri McDonald's (which is in Tamil Nadu, btw). 

Is that too much to ask?

 

 

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are independent views solely of the author(s) expressed in their private capacity and do not in any way represent or reflect the views of 101india.com

By Arjun Raj
Cover photo credit: mensxp.com